Language–ugh!

Okay, so as I reread my post about encouragement, I suddenly have this sentence pop into my head:  “I would like to encourage you to head in a new direction with that.”  Grrr.  Okay, so to encourage can also mean “to petition” or “earnestly request.”  The word can be used two ways.  But I think the context is the key here.  As a conversation begins to smolder in the midst of rebuke, words must be chosen carefully.  If I am biting my lip to keep from defending myself until the other person is finished, it is hard to know which is the case–is she encouraging me to consider _____ or is she trying to put a face of encouragement on a rebuke?

My guess is that her intent is to encourage me to consider her words, but that when she says it, “I just want to encourage you with. . .” it comes across as the latter.  Perhaps that says more about the attitude I have and the feelings that rise up within me during any kind of rebuke, loving or otherwise, than it does about her choice of words.

Growing up in a home where the only way to be heard was to blast your horn louder than the other guy (and ALWAYS have the last word), my first reaction is in self-defense, because who else is there to defend me?

But it’s just as hard for me to take a compliment.  If someone compliments my dress at church, I feel the need to explain that I found it for $20 on clearance.  Surely I have no right to be seen in a $140 dollar dress!  Surely I should not let a compliment slip into pride over finally fitting into the dress.  Because beauty is on the inside. . .Sometimes it’s not about anything but the dress itself.  Someone once said, “Leslie, just shut up and take the compliment.  Just say thank you.  It’s okay.”

I guess I could say the same about a word of encouragement, eh?