Today

Today I had the privilege of interacting with a group of older women in a bible study setting. It has been more than three years since I have been in the midst of mentorship that way. At the church we attend here, the ladies are wonderful, and I feel a part of them in a sense, but there really is not a gathering time for us. There is no “ladies study,” which is odd because the women serving are, as in many places, the backbone of the church happenings. So I decided to sign up for a morning gathering at a church nearby, though not my “home church.” I don’t know about Sunday services, but as for the fellowship and friendship I have been missing in my everyday existence, I am home. Already, I can see some of what God has in store for us to bring to each other, and I am excited. Today I allowed myself to be happy just listening.
Today my husband is working from home on a sample project for a company he may be joining soon. It is quiet, as our two youngest are napping and the elders are at school, so he can see that it IS POSSIBLE to work from home. Once he moves his “office” into one of the lodge rooms, it’ll be even easier. We can do this–be in the house together 24/7 again. It will be different this time. Today we can see that.

Today my dear friend is searching for answers about some things that happened in her childhood. The deeper she digs, the more lies unfold, the deeper the hurt cuts, and the fuller her anger over what can be done to a child in the name of religion. As she combs through articles trying to find out if the murder she witnessed so long ago is solved or not, as she questions whether the woman who raised her is really her mother at all, she remembers a woman with long hair that she felt safe with. Once upon a time, whether this was her mother or not, she was loved. Today as she searches for truth, she can only keep going by hanging on to that sliver of silver. And because of it, she can no longer brush the past aside. Today truth is more important than survival.

Today I have so much to say about God’s faithfulness to me it will pour out of every crevice. If you are here to watch my dark clouds billow and crash, you are in the wrong place. The sun beam poked through and the clouds are dispersing. I had a long week last week, and the weekend provided no release. No time to do more than reflect and to pray and go on with my day. But today, though the weather is droll at best, the sun is shining because I am loved.

Today I remember as I look at lives I have touched in some small, yet meaningful way, that God loves me past my impurities. Even as I am in the refining fire, black embers swirling within the ore of my being, the metal begins to shine through and someone sees His art coming to fruition. Only the artist can see the man in a chunk of rock, (i.e. David in the marble) but many can see and appreciate the craftsmanship involved in the process and the artistry that results. Today I know that I am more than a lump of coal. Today I am one day closer to being a diamond in His crown. Today I am free.